


A Little Saving Grace

by Barefootandbookish



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Rumbelle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:32:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5578618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barefootandbookish/pseuds/Barefootandbookish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rumplestiltskin comes back from the Underworld ready to tell Belle his secret. His plan changes dramatically when he finds her pregnant with his child. He struggles with his own demons while trying to balance Belle's pregnancy and finding a cure for his curse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A small row boat carried Rumplestiltskin and the others across the lake. They were finally back in Storybrooke. A few days was far too long to spend in the Underworld. He could just make out three figures on the edge of the lake. Grumpy, Sneezy, and Doc stood fishing together and knocking each other into the water. Their mouths dropped as the little row boat came into view.

The cheers of the dwarves had never sounded so wonderful. They took off rushing into the lake, splashing into the water, too impatient to wait until they docked. They flung arms around Snow and Charming’s necks, almost tipping the boat.

Emma breathed a sigh she’d been holding onto since the night Killian had died. She stepped onto land after her parents, with a protective arm linked through Killian’s. Regina and Robin followed next, rushing off to see Roland and the baby.

Still standing by the lake, Rumplestiltskin looked on with empty eyes. Too much had happened while they were gone. It just couldn’t be that easy to go on living a normal life. This joy wouldn’t last, he was sure.

Henry lagged behind, the last one off the boat. His head hung to his chest. If Rumplestiltskin hadn’t been watching, the boy would have walked right into him. He scooted out of the way just in time to miss the near collision.

As Rumplestiltskin knew well, the Underworld was not an easy place to shake from your memory. He worried that it had affected Henry much more than the rest of them. His deep, sad brown eyes reminded him of Bae’s.

He placed a hand on his grandson’s shoulder. Henry jumped at his touch.

“Henry, are you okay?” Rumplestiltskin asked.

Henry looked right through him, “Sure. I’ll be fine. Everyone is together now.”

_Not everyone._ The person Rumplestiltskin wanted to see the most wasn’t there. He knew Henry understood that pain, but he let it go. Henry had plenty of family to look after him for now. He had to get to Belle.

Needing more time to think everything over, Rumplestiltskin took the long path through the forest. The flowers had started to bloom along the path. _How long were we gone?_ He shrugged his coat off his shoulders, wrapping it over his arms. It was warmer now.

Everything felt shaky. The ground swayed under his feet. The same whispers that had stopped him from being a good husband to Belle were back. And it took all his energy to push forward. He kept reminding himself of what being in the Underworld taught him.

Seeing his father had forced him to see the man in the mirror he’d ignored for so long. His father was suffering an eternal life alone, and for what? Power? Rumplestiltskin knew he was on the same path. Something had to change.

He knew what he was. An addict, just like the old man, never able to let the power go, but he could change how he handled it. Hiding his problem had always been his downfall. Fixing his mistake would take time, but it had to start with telling the truth to the person who mattered the most.

The town looked the same, a stark contrast to the Underworld Storybrooke. People littered the sidewalks, all smiles and happy endings. Birds were singing, and the air was fresh. He stopped and took a deep breath, letting it clean his lungs of the smoky burn the Underworld had left.

Granny’s buzzed with life. The usual meeting place after the Heroes won. Rumplestiltskin frowned, not really sure where he fit in the equation. Sure, he’d helped them get Killan back. But did a good deed even count when he was the Dark One?

Inside the window, he spotted the Charmings hunched over their new toddler. Baby Neal wobbled on his feet, a smile directed at Snow. The Blue Fairy wiped a tear from her cheek, watching the boy with his parents. Again, he wondered how much time had passed. It had only felt like a few weeks for him, but it had to have been longer.

He turned away from the window. It only made him imagine the happy reunion he could have with Belle if he hid his dark secret a little longer. He knew if he were to ever get a true happy ending, he had to start being honest. Even if it meant losing his true love again.

When he was sure no one was looking, he plucked a red rose from Granny’s garden and headed towards the library.

The clock tower sat right on top of the library, exactly where it should be. He breathed a sigh of relief. He stood still, taking it all in. Letting the sight of the beautiful town remind him that what he’d seen in the Underworld was fake. The world he saw now was the truth. And his perfect Belle would be inside, sitting with her books, safe and sound.

The door opened quietly, despite his shaky hands, allowing him to sneak in without anyone noticing. The familiar smell of old books tickled his nose. He scanned the room. It seemed different, more organized, more tables and chairs, and definitely more books. How on Earth did she find so many books? They filled every crevice of the building. If there was just one more, the library would surely burst.

He spotted her behind a large desk. A smile stretched across her face, her eyes reflecting the light from the green table lamp next to her. He squeezed the flower tightly in his hand, wishing he had a hundred more, but knowing they still wouldn’t compare to her beauty. In front of the desk stood Hood’s boy, Roland. He stood a good inch taller than the last time he’d seen him. He held a book of children's poems in his hand. Rumplestiltskin could just make out their conversation.

“I’m getting it to read to Sienna. She loves it when I read to her. Do you think this one is okay?” Roland asked as he handed the book to Belle.

“Roland your sister will just love this book.” Belle said, her face glowing with love for the boy. “You’re a wonderful big brother. I can’t think of a better gift than sharing the love of reading.”

“Thank you, Miss Belle.”

As Belle scanned the book and handed it back to Roland, Rumplestiltskin hid behind the nearest bookshelves. Shoving aside the books in front of him, he peaked at Belle. Closing his eyes he thought of Belle with her own child. She’d be a terrific mother. Guilt fluttered in his chest. _Maybe she could find another man, a better man, to give her that gift._ The darkness was whispering louder.

He pushed the thought away. No time for that. For now, he just had to be brave enough to tell her the truth about being the Dark One again. Roland skipped out the door, leaving them alone. He walked out from behind the books, and cleared his throat.

Belle raised an eyebrow when she heard the noise. A chuckle tickled the back of his throat. She had little interest in anything but the book in front of her.

“Hello, Belle.” He spoke, walking closer to her desk.

The highlighter in her hand hit the floor. Slowly her eyes rose to meet his. “Rumple..” She gasped.

He took a few steps closer, waiting for her to jump up and run to him.

“How dare you leave me for six months!” Her words came out harsh, but the smile in her eyes told him anger wasn’t all she felt.

“Six months? Are you sure it was that long?” He asked.

Belle nodded.

_Six months?!_ So that’s the time difference between the real world and the Underworld. Just slow enough to rot your brain of any hope.

“Belle, I’m very sorry.” He held out the rose in front of him. She stared at it, her cheeks flushed. It was the first rose he’d given her since being in the Enchanted Forest.

“I’m glad you’re home.” She whispered.

Rumplestiltskin wanted nothing more than to pick her up and swing her into his arms. But there would be time for that later. If she forgave him.

“We need to talk, Belle.”

Belle raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes, we do.”

 Rumplestiltskin’s eyes grew wide as his wife stood and waddled around the desk. The number of books in here weren’t the only thing that had grown. She placed her hands on her round stomach. Her bottom lip sucked in between her teeth.

Rumplestiltskin froze, mouth ajar. A million questions swam in his head, but he had no words to ask them with.

“Are you going to say anything at all?” Belle pushed.

“You’re pregnant.”

Belle simultaneously nodded and rolled her eyes.

“Is it... are they... mine?” He mumbled.

Her eyes grew wide, her chin dropped. “Have you gone mad? Rumplestiltskin! Do you not remember how you left me?” She swatted at his arm,  “Of course you’re the father.”

_“_ Father.” The word felt heavy in his tongue. It was a word that he never expected to hear directed at him again. He’d lost that chance. Between his age and being the Dark One he was sure he’d never be able to have another.

Belle cupped his cheek in her palm. Her smile was heartbreakingly beautiful.

“Yes, you’re a father, Rumple.” She stood her toes, placing a kiss on his scruffy cheek. “Now, let’s go home.”

While she closed up the library, Rumplestiltskin stayed where she had left him, his gaze focused on the book Belle had been reading. He hadn’t even noticed. _What To Expect When You’re Expecting._ The only thought he’d had was telling her the truth about the curse. How would he ever be able to do that now?


	2. Chapter 2

Six months had passed since he’d been in his home. Now, he felt like a stranger in his own entryway. He hung his coat next to her blush colored one. A sly smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. The last time he saw that coat it was on a heap in the floor with the rest of her clothing.

He followed her to the kitchen. The sun shone through the window above the sink. Her hair was golden in the sunlight. She stuck the flower he’d given her into a little glass vase. It went on the table next to a bigger vase full of wildflowers.

The smell of flowers and baked goods floated around him. She had moved back in. Made it her own home. A picture of a forest hung above the dining room table, and candles lined the fireplace in the next room. Everything felt so much warmer and brighter. He was glad to have her home.

He left her in the kitchen and made his way into the living room. He skimmed his fingers across a new bookshelf. A picture from their last day together leaned against the books. She’d clicked buttons on her little phone, yelling at him to smile while she held the covers over her bare chest.

Little did they know then that a child had been made. Anger flooded through him, bile rising in his throat. How could he have done something so foolish? She’d never forgive him for being the Dark One now.

He took a seat on the couch, listening to Belle’s footsteps upstairs. In the Underworld, he’d talked Emma into helping him fight the darkness. His pride had suffered greatly, but he’d do anything to keep Belle at his side. He hadn’t used magic since. Maybe, just maybe, he could hide it a bit longer. There had to be a way to rid himself of the curse. Maybe he’d never have to tell her at all.

Belle laid her hands on his shoulders, startling him. She had changed into sweatpants and one of his white t-shirts. The thin cotton material clung to her middle, showing off her bump. A spark of pride ignited in his chest. He patted the couch beside him, motioning for her to come sit with him.

“I missed you,” he said.

“Rumple, you know I love you, but you just can’t do this anymore.”

Anger flashed in her eyes. Being on her bad side wasn’t easy.  He closed his eyes, reminding himself to focus on everything she said, a step to being a better man for her.

“I woke up in our bed. You were nowhere to be found.” Her eyes focused on the wall over his shoulder, glistening with tears. “I found your note on the dresser, but that’s not enough Rumple. I felt betrayed again. I need you to tell me before you run headfirst into hell. I know we’re never going to live a normal life, but I deserve to know what you’re out there getting yourself into.”

At the time, he had thought it was the right thing. There would have been too many questions if she saw him face to face. Now, it just seemed pathetic. Another cowardly move.

He shook his head. “Belle, I truly am sorry.”

“Why did you even go? Hook isn’t exactly a friend of yours.”

_No, not exactly. But Miss Swan is great at blackmail._

He forced a smile. “That’s just what heroes do, right?” 

Belle smiled. “Just no more adventures until the little one is here, okay?”

“Sure.” He nodded.

Belle jumped, her hands flying to her belly. “The baby is kicking.”

She placed his hand where hers had just been. A little thump, barely noticeable at first, then stronger. A moment later, it moved, kicking his wrist. His eyes were wide, a smile stretched cheek to cheek. He had loved children so much before he was the Dark One.

The thumps turned rhythmic under his hand. His eyes shot to hers, worried he’d done something wrong.

“ Hiccups,” Belle said.

Rumplestiltskin smiled, a small gasp escaped his lips. He’d only knew about the baby for a few hours, and he was already in love. But he couldn’t quiet the memory of Bae. He had failed Bae so many times. He didn’t want to fail again. As the Dark One, he was surely fated to do just that.

Tears blinded him. He knew exactly what he had to do. Protect his child, no matter the cost. Even if that meant never laying eyes on them. If he hadn’t found a way to break the curse by the time the baby was born, he’d leave Storybrooke for good.

“Rumple?” Belle’s voice shook him out of his thoughts.

He pulled his hands away, and fiddled with his cuff links, suddenly embarrassed of how long he’d been touching her. “Yes, Sweetheart?”

 “Before you found out about the baby you said we needed to talk.” She squeezed his hands between hers, “You can tell me, now.”

Rumplestiltskin pulled her into a hug, not able to look into her eyes and lie. “Oh, it was nothing. I just wanted to tell you that we saved Hook.”

Belle pulled away from him. A  half-hearted sigh fell from her lips, “Was there ever any doubt that you would?”

He laughed nervously, “No, I guess not.”

The conversation quickly turned back to the baby. Belle’s face shone as bright as the sun as she talked. The pregnancy had been easy so far. No morning sickness. The baby loved books, kicking especially hard when she read fairy tales. She hadn’t found out the sex, wanting it to be a surprise. Now it would be a surprise for both of them.

 Rumplestiltskin smiled and nodded as she went on and on about their little Baby Gold, but focusing on the pregnancy was hard. He had to fight against the whispers trying to control him. Occasionally, Belle would stop and glance at him with expectant eyes. He just urged her forward, telling her he was just taking it all in.  Before they knew it, the sun had went down.

Just as the conversation grew quiet, Belle jumped to her feet. “Oh! I have a sonogram! Let me go get it to show you!”

“No, no, no. Let me get it for you. Where is it?”

He found the black and white photo on the dresser. It was so blurry, he had no idea what he was looking at, but it took his breath away.

Belle draped herself over his arms, pointing and explaining each part of the baby. It had been too long since he’d heard her happy. If only they could stay that way forever. Just the three of them, happy and without worry.

He drifted into a daydream, her voice a lullaby to his broken heart. For a moment, he was able to imagine the curse was gone and he could scoop her into his arms and carry her to bed, keeping her just like this for eternity.

One handed, he pulled her into his lap and stroked her cheek with the back of his palm. His eyes were full of desire, searching her face and coming to rest on her lips. Her cheeks burned under his touch.

“I love you so much, Belle.”

“I love you, too.”

He leaned his lips into hers, picking up where they had left off months ago. Sparks of golds and reds flashed in his eyes. Tingles, little porcupine pricks, covered his arms. She clawed at his hair, and pressed her lips harder against his. He welcomed it all, slipping his hands underneath her shirt. Feeling the cool, bare skin of her back. She shivered under his touch.

Underneath the passion, he felt himself start to lose control over the Dark One curse. His guard was too far down. The darkness pressed into his heart, whispering temptations of betrayal. Reminding him just how easy it was to follow the power and to leave Belle behind. He could rule Storybrooke with just a wave of his hand.

His hands dropped out of her shirt. He pulled his lips from her. Wincing, he sucked in his bottom lip, savoring the taste of her lips. Belle’s fingers were laced around his neck. She tried to pull him back in, but he wouldn’t allow it. He had to keep the walls up. Had to keep the dark one out of his ears.

“Rumple, what’s wrong?”

He leaned back and straightened his tie. Busying his hands so they wouldn't find their way back to her body.

“I’m a little overwhelmed,” he said. “And tired.”

Belle kissed his cheek, and scooted out of his lap, a disappointed smile on her face. He watched  her brush fingers through her messy hair, his heart ached for her. But the more he thought about what he wanted to do to make her happy, the less safe she was from the darkness.

“I’m sorry, Belle…I just I need a few minutes.” He stumbled over his words, trying to find a way to explain without giving everything away.

Her cheeks turned a light shade of red, she jumped to her feet and hurried out the room. “Why don’t you head upstairs? You can lay down while I make some dinner.”

“No, you don’t need to do that.”

“Well, I’m starving. And dinner isn’t going to make itself.”

No matter how many times Belle explained that she was fine to cook, Rumplestiltskin wouldn’t let her do a thing more than go to her personal library and read. Anything to keep her and the unborn baby safe, even if it meant learning how to cook himself, he told her. She rolled her eyes and finally accepted defeat.

He headed out the door to pick up something from Granny’s. He’d learn to cook, but not tonight. Choosing his feet over the black Cadillac, he started down the empty road towards town. The fresh air would surely do him some good. At least the cold breeze would shake away his desire to take Belle straight to their room and forgo dinner completely.


	3. Chapter 3

After dinner, Belle and Rumplestiltskin cuddled together in their bed. Belle nuzzled into his chest, falling asleep fast. Rumplestiltskin lay still next to her. Dark Ones don’t sleep, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave her alone. He spent the night against her, letting his body warm hers, and feeling little thumps of baby kicks against his rib cage.

His mind wandered back centuries, picturing baby Bae in his arms. The first time Milah had handed him his son, he became a different man. His whole life had been dedicated to that little bundle of child.

Their life hadn’t been easy, but he’d loved his son unconditionally. He’d thought the power would be the answer to their problems. He’ finally be able to protect his son. But it had only destroyed their relationship and turned him into an addict. Instead of being the father he needed, Rumplestiltskin put Bae behind a glass door, only getting close enough to squish anything that dared to come near him.

In the silence of the night, pressed against Belle’s body, he made a promise to his unborn child. _You will get more of me. I will break this curse for you. And you will get the very best parts of me._ He didn’t know exactly what parts those were, but there had to be some good left inside, or Belle would have never stayed all these years.

Hours later, sunshine spilled over the golden sheets, highlighting Belle’s face. She stirred, rubbing her eyes with her fists. Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes, and steadied his breathing, pretending to have slept all night.

Belle leaned on her elbow, kissing him on the forehead. “Good morning, Rumple.”

He opened his eyes, yawning for extra emphasis. “Can’t a man sleep in after being in the underworld for six months?” he groaned.

“Oh, you and I both know you’re dying to get back into the shop.”

She was right. The shop was exactly where he needed to be. He had hidden books there years ago. Ones that held some of the darkest and dangerous spells on their pages. Somewhere in those ancient pages, lay the answer to his problem. He was sure of it.

“You’re right.” He smiled.

“Meet at Granny’s for lunch?”

With the mention of food his belly rumbled, he tickled her nose, “Again, you’re always right.” He pulled her in for a kiss and rolled out of bed.

Straight away, he headed to his shop. He stood outside the door, staring up at the sign the first curse had hung for him years ago. Someone had taken a hammer, or maybe an ax, to it while he was gone. He could see straight through the middle of it. The bell above his door lay smashed in the corner under the awning. His hand lifted, the easiness of magic flowing into his fingertips.

“Mr. Gold!” a voice shouted, just before the bell lifted off the ground.

His hand jerked to his side. Cursing himself for almost using magic for something so trivial, hoping no one had noticed. He spun on his heels and found the Blue Fairy crossing the street to meet him.

“Let me get that for you, “she said. She pulled a wand from a bag around her shoulder. Within a second his bell was back in place and his sign whole once more.

He nodded and smiled in her direction. “Thank you.”

She patted his shoulder. “You did a good thing for Killian. We’re glad to have you back.”

Rumplestiltskin watched as she continued on her way. His eyes narrowed. The Blue Fairy never did anything without reason. He knew he’d have to keep an eye on her. But for now, he had to get in the shop and work on the curse. He locked the door behind him, leaving the sign turned to closed.

Behind the curtain, he headed to the farthest corner in the shop. Remembering he couldn’t use magic, he grabbed a screwdriver from his desk and pried the wooden base board from the wall. One by one, he pulled five books out from inside the wall. The books were covered in a layer of dust, some falling apart and missing pages.

He remembered the day he had found them. Emma had just arrived into town, and the curse had started to fracture. He’d torn the shop to pieces, surprised the curse had brought all of his possessions with him. He’d left the books where he found them, saving them for a rainy day. _Well, it’s damn near pouring._

As he opened the first book, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. He stood and searched the shop, but no one was around. He growled at the Dark One curse. Knowing it was to blame for his paranoia. He poured a cup of whiskey, and blocked out the voice. He didn’t have time for it.

 Each spell took hours to go through, written in languages and codes that had to be decoded word by word. Hours ticked by as he sat at his desk, hunched over the first book. When he came up for air he noticed the clock. _Damn._ Belle had been waiting near an half hour. He rushed out the door, thanking Killian for the only good thing he’d ever done. It’d be a lot harder to run to Granny’s with a cane.

He spotted Belle through the window. Snow and baby Neal sat with her. His insides wrenched. Snow was never one to keep secrets. He studied Belle’s face. She was smiling and laughing. He was safe, for now.

He hurried in the door, his hands balled into fists. Snow saw him first. Her eyes narrowed at him. He shot a look from behind Belle’s shoulder as he slipped into the booth beside her. One that he hoped told her to keep her mouth shut.

“We’ve got to get you back on Storybrooke time.” Belle said.

“I’m sorry, there’s just so much to do in the shop.”

She gave him a quick smile as Granny brought over their food.

“Congrats, Mr. Gold, on your and Belle’s good news! I just know Belle will be a wonderful mother,” Snow said.

Rumplestiltskin rolled his eyes, catching the obvious choice of words. He looked at Belle, anger flashing over her face. She opened her mouth to reply, but he quickly cut her off before she’d say something he’d regret.

“Yes, Belle will be a wonderful mother.”

He squeezed Belle’s hand. He understood her anger, and wanted nothing more than to let his wife put Snow in her place. But it was not time to piss off one of the Charmings. Snow said her goodbye and headed out the door, Neal following after her.

“Why didn’t you let her have it? She had no right to imply you would be anything short of a wonderful father!” Belle cried.

“Belle, I haven’t exactly earned Snow’s trust yet…”

“Even after you went to hell and back to save Hook?”

He pulled her into a kiss, “The only opinion I’m concerned with is yours, my dear.”

Belle nodded, but he could see she still wasn’t convinced that she shouldn’t chase Snow down and tell her what she really thought.

“How has the library been?” he asked, changing the subject.

It was exactly the right subject to choose. Belle went on and on about the library and the new programs she had started while he was gone. Rumplestiltskin just nodded and picked at his burger.

Soon, a waitress approached them offering a slice of pie. Belle took one excitedly, but Rumplestiltskin waved the young girl away.

“I’m sorry Belle, but I do need to be getting back.”

Belle pouted. “You’re not staying for dessert?” , she waved the pie under his nose, “it’s apple.”

“I’m not the one eating for two!” He laughed. “No, I need to get back to work. Cleaning and such.”

“Fine.” She waved him away, hiding her concern with a half-smile, half-grimace.

Moments later, he was back in his shop. He checked that all the books were still there, the feeling of being watched  prickled the hairs on his neck, but everything was right where he left it. He could never get used to not being the only one home. The other Dark One’s always left a shadow wherever he went.

He slumped down into his chair with a half-full bottle of whiskey. He thought of Belle sitting alone in Granny’s. He wanted nothing more than to run back to her, take her home, and hold her for the rest of the day. But once again, he’d wrecked his chance to be the husband she deserved.

Finally, he’d had the chance to give her everything. The Dark One curse gone, he had survived his tortured coma. But here he was, back in the same position. He tossed a book across the room. It slammed into the wall with a thud, landing on the floor and sending a puff of dust into the air.

He slung back another glass of whiskey, trying to burn away her image. For now, he had to focus on finding a cure. If he didn’t find it in time, he’d have to leave town. _Better to miss a few moments than a lifetime_. He retrieved the book from the floor and started searching again.


	4. Chapter 4

Days were slow, but the weeks passed quickly. Day in and day out, Rumplestiltskin sat alone in his shop. He wasn’t any closer than when he'd began. If only he could ask Belle for help. She always knew exactly where to look when it came to magic. But instead, he continued to hide his secret. Too afraid of what his betrayal would do to their relationship.

Belle and the baby grew quicker and quicker with each week. He swore she looked as if she’d hidden Bae's kickball under her shirt. She stood in the kitchen, holding her bump while tea steeped on the stove. She hummed a song, a lullaby Rumplestiltskin knew from some long ago time. He watched her from his chair, trying to remember the words, but only remembering something about a cradle and falling from a tree. Not exactly a comforting rhyme.

He looked over to the calendar hanging on their fridge. Monday. He dug his elbows into the table, shoulders hunched. Every Monday she’d hand him the little digital camera Snow had brought over for him to take a picture of her bump and the vegetable or fruit that matched the baby’s size.

The tea screamed on the oven, waking Belle from her daydreams. She poured them both a cup and waddled them to the table. Then she pulled a head of cauliflower from the fridge.

“Can you believe the baby is already the size of a cauliflower?”

All he could do was force a smile. Every week he had to come closer to accepting the fate of never seeing his second child. As much as he wanted to be excited, he only felt frustration. For Belle it was marking a memory, for him it was another week closer to a nightmare coming true.

“Rumple! I asked you a question!” Belle said.

He jumped in his chair, not realizing he’d been ignoring her.

“I’m sorry, Belle. I didn’t hear you.”

“Do you think it’s a boy or girl?” she asked again, obviously frustrated. She held the cauliflower against her stomach as Rumplestiltskin reached for the camera in her other hand.

“I’m not good at guessing games,” he replied.

She sighed, “I think it’s a boy. He’s strong. Just like you.”

He knew she was trying to involve him and spark conversation, but it was just too much. He didn’t want to think about what the child would be like. It was easier this way. He loved them to no end, but he needed to stand a safe distance away.

He slammed his thumb down on the shutter, hoping the picture would be the end of it. But she went on.

“Come on. Tell me. Do you want a daughter or a son?”

“Belle, why are we doing this? Don’t you think it’s a little…silly?” He dropped the camera onto the table, tea splashed from the side of his cup.

Belle jumped for the camera, saving it from getting soaked. Her cheeks turned red, her eyes narrowed in on him. “What has gotten into you lately?”

He reached for a napkin, cleaning up his mess. “I’m sorry...”

Belle cut him off before he could even finish thinking of an excuse for his behavior. “You’re always working late, and when you are home you never seem to want to be with me. It’s not like you. It’s like you’re someone else, completely.”

Rumple reached for her hand. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just scared.” He was scared. Scared that he’d never even lay eyes on the child giving him a second chance to be a father. Scared Belle would find out the truth, that he really wasn’t himself. Scared that the baby would grow up to hate him just as much as Baelfire. He felt like he’d failed all over again.

Belle took his hand in hers, tracing the lines of time with her index finger. Her shoulders fell. “It’s not the same this time. You’re a better man now. Just be honest with me, no matter what.”

Rumplestiltskin looked at her, studying her face. It had rounded out over the last month, her cheeks stained pink, and her belly bumped into the table as she leaned forward. Her eyes were tired, the glow of the early months of pregnancy gone, and the lines around her mouth were deeper than before.

He turned away from her, trying to hide the silent tears in his eyes. She didn't deserve any of the stress and worry he’d caused her over the last decades, and now she sat here comforting him when she needed him to be strong the most.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. You’re right. I haven’t been honest with you. I’ve been hiding my worries about being a father again. But that won’t happen anymore. Why don’t we take the day off together? Let me run down to the shop and check on something, and then I’ll be right back.” 

Belle started to shake her head in disagreement, he raised his finger to her lips. “Yes. The answer is yes. Let me take care of you.”

 She kissed his finger before pulling it away. “I love you.”

He replied with a kiss on her lips, smoothing her hair behind her ear. “I’ll be back soon.”

The morning conversation had lead him to see the truth. He had to stay no matter what, had to tell Belle the truth. She deserved that much. But first, he’d try one more time to find the spell he’d been looking for. There was only one book left. _It had to be there._

In his shop, he fumbled through his desk drawers, looking for the book where he’d left it the night before. But it wasn’t there. His heart raced in his chest. That book was his last chance. How could it be missing? He tossed papers over the floor, searching between each file folder. It was nowhere to be found. He stood looking around the room. _Where is it?_

“Looking for this?”

The voice made him jump. He spun on his heels to face the Blue Fairy standing just in front of him, her hands wrapped around the book he had been looking for. “What do you want?” he spat. He stretched his hand out for the book, needing to get it in his hands before she did something stupid.

She pulled it away just out of his reach. “Why haven’t you told her?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Your Eminence.” He smiled. “Now give me the book and go tend to your nuns.”

“It’s harder than you thought, isn’t it?” she asked.

“What are you going on about?”

 “Hiding the monster behind the mask.” Her eyes shifted up to the back corner. He followed her gaze, spotting a red blinking light. A camera.

“What did you do?” he yelled.

“I did it the day I saw you after your little adventure to the Underworld.  You were about to use magic just in front of your shop, remember? I needed a way to keep tabs on you.”

Rumplestiltskin remembered. The bell. He had slipped and she had noticed. He cursed himself for being so foolish. All this time he had been watched, it wasn’t paranoia at all.

“ But don’t worry, I’m the only one who has seen the tapes.” She smiled. “For now.”

“This doesn’t concern you.” Rumplestiltskin gritted his teeth at the fairy. He gripped the desk, feeling the wood splinter under his strength. The dark magic surged through him, but he anchored himself with thoughts of Belle.

“I stood by for many years, never saying a word about your dark magic.” Her words came out sharp as daggers, aimed at his heart. “But I can’t continue to do so. Belle is pregnant. It’s her decision to stay with you, but you can’t lie to her. She needs to make the decision knowing what you are. Again.”

“Well, isn’t it lucky for me that I don’t care for your opinion? Now hand me the book back and kindly get lost,” he snapped back at her. Inside, he knew she was right. He’d already made that decision on his own. But having the Blue Fairy talk to him like a child was infuriating.

“If you don’t, I will.” Her eyes were pinned on his. She was serious.

He hated her. Wanted to take her out, but he couldn’t. She was right, but he wouldn’t admit it to her. He stood inches in front of her, his snarl fierce as he met her eyes. “Out.” He raised his shaking finger, pointing it towards the front door.

The Blue Fairy shoved the book into his chest and walked out without another word. Rumplestiltskin stood frozen in place. Reminding himself to take deep breaths. He flipped open the book in the palms of his hand. Inside every page was blank.

He let out a thunderous scream, tossing the book straight at the camera blinking in the corner. Then he threw anything he could find at the damned red light. He didn’t stop until the camera hung from a single wire, sparks buzzing through the shop.

He fell to the floor, tears pouring from his eyes. He pounded the floor with his fist, letting the wooden floor rip apart his knuckles. He deserved the pain. None of this would be happening if he had just been able to resist the pull of power. He was nothing but an addict and a coward.

Knowing the Blue Fairy, she was on the way to Belle now. Lucky for him, she’d think she was at the library. He had a chance to get to her first. He could still do this the right way. And maybe somehow, Belle would find a way to forgive him once more.

He stood and walked into the bathroom, checking his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were rimmed red. Every muscle in his face hardened by anger. His hand dripped with blood.

The Blue Fairy was right. Hiding the monster behind the man was almost impossible. But he’d managed so far. He wrapped his bloodied fist in his pocket square, straightened his suit, and headed out the door.

He drove home with his foot pushed all the way to the floor board. The windows were down, cold air rushed against his face.  For the first time, he was ready to tell Belle the truth. If he could just explain how hard he’d been working, she would understand. She would see how well he had it under control and accept him. It was going to be okay. _It had to be okay._


	5. Chapter 5

As he turned into his parking spot he saw Belle running out of their house, her hand on her stomach. She wore only her nightgown, the same way he’d left her. His foot slammed on the break, his heart beating out of his chest. He shoved the car into park and threw open the door.

“Belle! Is everything okay?” he yelled as he jumped out of the car and ran to her side.

“I think the baby wants to come early, I need to go see Dr. Whale.” She let out a noise that Rumple wasn’t sure to be human.

Wrapping an arm around her he scooped her into his arms, carrying her to the passenger side. It took three tries before he could get the door open, between his injured hand and the adrenalin. He lowered her in and unbuttoned his jacket, throwing it over her bare legs.

“Just hold on,” he told her.

Inside, his mind screamed. He wanted to use his magic, flash them there. He couldn’t let his child be in danger, but how could he explain it to Belle? He growled at the old car, pushing his foot farther to the floor.

He swerved into the parking lot of the hospital and parked just outside the entrance.

“I’ll be right back. Sit still,” he yelled.

Running through the doors he grabbed a wheelchair and shouted for Dr. Whale. With help on the way, he headed back out and helped Belle into the chair. Once inside, a nurse tried to take over, but he wouldn’t have it. He pushed her back to the room the nurse guided him to. There they were left alone. Rumple paced back and forth, cursing Dr. Whale for being the worst doctor imaginable, and mentally blaming himself for the stress Belle had been under.

“Rumple, please come here,” Belle whispered.

He ran to her side. “What is it Belle?”

“I’m okay. I’m feeling better. Sit with me. Don’t walk a hole in the floor.”

He smoothed her hair back from her forehead and planted a kiss just above her eyes. “You will be okay as soon as that jackass gets in here.”

Rumple continued to pace the room, silently begging the child to stay inside their safe home a little longer. It wasn’t time yet. He was worried about the baby’s health and Belle’s, but he was also a little selfish. He needed more time. He hadn’t told her yet.

Hours later, Belle was being wheeled out of the hospital and back to the black Cadillac. Rumple’s hand lay protectively over her bump as they drove back home. Dr. Whale had stopped her labor and sent her home, hoping she could make it a couple more weeks before delivery.

“I don’t trust him.”

“I know.”                     

Rumplestiltskin glanced at Belle, her forehead was pressed against the window.

“What’s wrong? Do you feel okay?”

“You said you were making a quick trip to your shop, but you were gone for hours. And you show up with a bloody handkerchief on your hand.  What are you doing there, Rumple? Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Belle, I was just organizing and then a customer came in…”

Belle shifted away from his touch, “Why would a customer come in if you were closed? Please, just stop with the excuses…”

Rumple’s thumbs bounced against the steering wheel. He couldn’t tell her now, she needed to relax. Any stress and she could end up in the hospital again.

“It was an accident. A knife fell from the shelf. I tried to catch the stupid thing.”

She jerked her head towards him, her eyes bloodshot. “You cannot hide secrets from me anymore, Rumple.” Belle fumbled with the door lock. “Stop the car. I want to walk.”

“Belle!” Rumple yelled. He reached for her hand, but she swatted him away. “You can’t walk in your condition!”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do!”

Rumple pulled over on the side of the road and pressed down on the lock button. Tears of frustration flooded his eyes. “You’re right, I can’t. But I’m asking you, please stay in the car. I’ll tell you everything. Let’s just get home first.”

She took a deep breath and removed her fingers from the door handle one at a time. Rumplestiltskin relaxed, grateful she didn’t jump out and run. The last time that happened, he had to fight off a bear. And he was in no mood to do that again.

A single nod gave him his answer. He shifted the car back into drive and slowly moved down the road. Not a word was spoken.

Inside the house Belle ignored the help Rumplestiltskin offered. She waddled to the couch and took her seat, waiting for him to join her. Her bare foot tapped against the hardwood floors with an impatient thump.

He watched from the door, trying to gather his thoughts. Even when she was angry she looked so lovely. He couldn’t believe she was still with him. After all these years, she still had the heart to let him explain. A smile started at the corner of his mouth. He knew that no matter what, his child would be in good hands. Belle would be a wonderful mother.

_But how do I tell her?_ He knew there were no words to explain. Show her. He had to show her. He took the stairs two at a time. In the back of the spare bedroom closet he pulled out a small wooden chest.

The box was splintered and heavy in his hands. The guilt in his chest was heavier. He pulled a key from his pocket and clicked open the box. It gave a soft squeak. He ran a finger over the blade. His heart pulsed harder, quicker. He wanted another hit. Instead, he slammed the lid closed.

He took the stairs much slower going down. It was real now. Each step another moment closer to her knowing the truth. How could she stand by him through this? In his mind he pictured her face, tears rolling down her cheeks. She’d slam the door in his face and never look back. He was wrong, it couldn’t be okay.

Her feet were up on the table. Swollen ankles and blistered toes. He wanted to cradle them and kiss it all away. He sat the box in front of her, brushing his hand against her leg. Joining her on the couch, he reached for her hand. 

She pushed it away, nodding her head, “Tell me.”

“Belle…” He started, the tears already stinging his eyes. He had tried diligently to make this better, but it was too late now. “I want to show you something.”

She turned towards him, her eyes locked on his. He nodded towards the box. She lifted the heavy lid, and set it aside. Rumplestiltskin tried to ignore the whispers calling him. He raised his hands to his ears in vain. Nothing would shut out the noise of the Dark Ones.

Beside him, without a word,  Belle pulled the dagger from the box. She traced over the silver ink spelling out his name. He watched as she turned it in her hands, as if looking for an imperfection. Something to tell her it wasn’t real. _But it is._ Her head fell to her chest, with closed eyes she lowered it back into the box and replaced the lid.

“Belle, talk to me.”

Her hands fidgeted in her lap, as she looked between Rumplestiltskin and the dagger.

She  sucked in a deep breath and let it out before speaking, “You told me that when the  sword turned to dust the curse was gone for good. How could this happen?” Her voice was even and steady. _This is it. She won’t be able to get past this._

“Belle….I’m sorry. I know I’ve failed you again. I promised you I could be the hero you wanted, but the pull of the power was so strong. I’m just a coward after all. I thought I was alone, and the addiction…”

She pulled away from him, cutting him off. “ Wait. This happened before you left? Before we…?”

He nodded. Belle’s head bobbled with confusion, her eyes blinked back tears. She stood up from the couch too quickly, almost toppling back down. Rumplestiltskin jumped up, reaching for her. His hands landed on her hips. Turning towards him, she collapsed into his arms, letting the river of tears flow over his shoulder.

He lead her back down to the sofa, letting her lean on him. Her tears soaked into his suit. He wasn’t sure what to say or do, so he just let her cry, rubbing circles onto her back and waiting for her to respond. It wasn’t like her, but he knew the hormones from pregnancy made her emotions that much stronger.

After her eyes were dry, she sat away from him. He braced himself for impact, waiting for the full force of her anger.

“All these years, I’ve helped everyone. Even Hook after he tried to kill me!” And this is what I get in return. Lies. Rumple, it’s always lies! Instead of coming to me, they used your addiction for their own selfish reasons and left me in the dark.”

He pressed his back into the couch, his eyebrows wrinkled. “Belle, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m tired of being used as a pawn in a chess game.“

“But, Belle, I’m the one that took the Dark One curse again. And I know that means I failed again. I let the addiction win over my love for you.”

Belle shook her head. “No. You didn’t. I’d left you. You were alone and scared. You knew your death was imminent.”

Since being in the Underworld Rumplestiltskin had imagined the ways she would react when he told her what he’d done. This had not been one of them. His voice shook, tears threatening to steal his voice away. “Belle are you saying you forgive me?”

Belle wiped her tears on her sleeve. “Rumple, I knew the moment you got back. If I was going to leave, I would have left already.”

He tipped his head to the side, his mouth falling open. _You knew?_

“I thought…I thought it was the only way to get Hook back from the Underworld. You weren’t using magic. I thought you didn’t want it…”

“Wait, you knew?” he cut her off.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?” Her voice was almost playful. “I’ve known you a long time, Rumple.”

He couldn’t believe it. She had known the whole time. He buried his face into his hands, wanting to hide the shame.

“I knew you’d tell me when you were ready. The pregnancy was already a lot on you. I just wanted to have faith in you.”

He pulled her hands into his, kissing each one. “Oh, Belle! I don’t deserve your faith. I’ve been trying to find a cure, but I’ve failed.”

She smiled. “Let me help you now.”

It was his turn to collapse into her arms. She stroked his hair and planted kisses on his head. He rested his hand on her tummy. The littlest Gold repeatedly kicked at his hand, already recognizing their father’s voice. A smile rested on his lips.


	6. Chapter 6

Two weeks later, they sat together in the same spot. Outside, birds sang with the sunrise. Tea steamed in Rumplestiltskin’s hands, Belle’s legs laid across his lap and book resting on her belly. He watched it rise and fall with her steady breaths.  She leaned against the cushion, snoring softly.

The Dark One curse was still inside him. After nights of no sleep, neither of them had found an answer. He felt like a ticking time bomb. He’d learned how to control it, but how long would it last? Somewhere a little voice started to whisper to him. _The dagger_. It called to him, telling him to leave Belle. Fear crept up into his rib cage.

Belle stirred, shaking him from his nightmarish thoughts. Her leg bumped into his mug. The hot liquid splashed over the edge and landed on his thigh. He sucked in a deep breath of air, holding back a yelp. She looked so peaceful, and he didn’t want to disturb her.

But a moment later, she stirred again. This time, her face wrinkled, a groan escaping her lips. He froze in place, eyes glued on her. Minutes later, her face wrinkled again and turned red. Her head fell to the side and back again.

Rumplestiltskin gently shook her leg. “Belle wake up. What’s wrong?”

Belle opened her eyes. Small beads of sweat trickled down her head. “I think it’s time.” Again, she winced in pain, grabbing at her stomach.

“No, it can’t be time yet!” he cried. “We haven’t found an answer yet.”

Belle grabbed his wrist, squeezing it tight. “It’s okay. You’re going to be a wonderful father. But we have to go, now.” Another wave of pain rushed over her face, and she bit her lip to keep from screaming.

Rumplestiltskin swallowed the lump in his throat. With a hand around her ankles, he slid her legs off of his lap and onto the couch. His legs were rubber as he rushed up the stairs to retrieve the hospital bags. A million thoughts rushed through his mind, from Bae to Belle to the new baby. How could he be a father when he was still the Dark One?

At the bottom of the stairs, he spotted Belle trying to pry herself off the couch. He hoisted the bag up on his shoulder and ran to her. With one quick motion, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the passenger side door of the Cadillac. She cried out in pain as he pushed the gas pedal to the floor. The only thought he had room for was getting her to someone who could help her deliver their child.

In the hospital, Rumplestiltskin stood in the corner of the room, back against the wall. He rubbed his fingers together as he watched helplessly. Belle cried out with each contraction. She absolutely refused pain medication. Even though he hated seeing her in pain, he kept his mouth closed. No amount of arguing from him would change her mind.

Between contractions, she motioned him closer. “Stay with me. I need you close.”

He nodded. Leaning over the bed rails, he placed a kiss on her sweaty forehead and brushed the hair from her face. Tears fell from her eyes, and he couldn’t stop his own eyes from tearing up too.

All of these years, she had stuck by him, Dark One curse or not. Now he was going to be the father to her child. Knowing his child would have such a strong mother filled him warmth. Hope rushed through his veins.

Three hours later, Dr. Whale laid the small newborn across Belle’s chest. A girl. They had a daughter. She was so beautiful. Her hair was brown, and she cried with the strength of a warrior.

Rumplestiltskin couldn’t hold back the tears and smiles. He kissed Belle over and over, praising her for her hard work. Joy washed out any thought of darkness. A daughter, his own little princess. He’d love her to the end of the world and back again, never allowing anything to harm his sweet child.

Belle nuzzled the baby against her chest for only a moment before a nurse pulled her away. The room spun with chaos. Nurses cheered and congratulated him. Dr. Whale patted him on the back.

“Well you did it old man!”

Rumplestiltskin couldn’t help but smile at the doctor. He was too happy to care about his past issues with him. Nurses cleaned and weighed the baby, then wrapped her in a soft pink blanket and placed her into Belle’s arms.

“Can we have some time alone?” Belle asked.

The nurse nodded. The door clicked, and everything was silent. He watched as Belle cuddled the child against her bare skin. She wrapped a finger around the curl on top of the little baby’s head.

“She’s got my curls.”           

He nodded, stepping closer for a better look. The baby was perfect. Porcelain skin, lips puckered into a heart. He didn’t want to touch her, afraid he’d somehow break her.

“She looks just like you,” he said.

“Look in my bag. Underneath my clothes.”

He did as she asked. He pulled out a light brown cloth. The shawl that had once been Bae's. He turned to her, her smile brighter than he’d ever seen it. He clutched the shawl to his chest. Tears soaked his cheeks.

“I thought maybe you’d like to give it to her.”

Belle slid over, making room for him on the tiny hospital bed. He slipped down beside her, and with shaking hands, he wrapped the ancient cloth around his brand new baby. He was careful not to brush against her skin. He was dangerous to her still.

“Don’t be nervous. It’s okay. You aren’t going to hurt her.”

He reached out a finger, brushing it against the back of his daughter's hand. He gasped as she wrapped her tiny finger around his rough skin. Her eyes popped open, looking right back at him.

Belle smiled, “Looks like she takes after you, too.”

Her eyes were dark and deep, a brown that was like no other but his own. In her eyes were secrets and wisdom. An old soul, some would say.

He smiled and reached for her. “Can I hold her?”

“Of course.” Belle placed the baby in his arms, reminding him to hold her head steady.

Looking down at her, he smiled. All the pain and guilt of the centuries of wrong-doings disappeared. She took away all the regrets. She was his second chance.

He leaned down to kiss her cheek just as Belle grabbed his hand. As his lips pressed against her just-born skin, Belle lifted his hand, kissing the back of it.

A vibration of light flooded over the room, and they jumped, looking at each other with wide eyes. A shadow of black fog lifted from his body. _The Dark One curse!_ It drifted away from them, getting lighter and lighter until it was gone completely.

Rumplestiltskin looked between his daughter and wife. Belle chuckled, her lips open in a smile. In his arms, the baby slept peacefully.

“True love’s kiss.” Rumple whispered.

Belle threw her arms around him, smothering him in kisses. The Dark One curse was gone. He was no longer a threat to his precious family.

Just then a nurse threw open their door, a look of confusion on her face.

“Did you feel that? Is everyone okay in here?”

“We are perfect.” Belle smiled at her husband and kissed him again.

The nurse ran back out of the room and down the hall. Belle and Rumple cuddled their new daughter between them.

Rumplestiltskin looked down at his perfect daughter, so thankful for the gift he’d been given.

“She needs a name.” Belle said, cutting off his thoughts.

“What about Analeigh?”

“That’s beautiful, what does it mean?”

“It means grace,” he said. He looked at down at her, rubbing her small cheeks with the back of his hand. “She was my saving grace.”

Belle nodded and laid her head on his shoulder. “Analeigh it is then.”

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to mysticknightsofscotland for being the best beta reader I could ask for. Also, a big shoutout to mariequitecontrarie for originally coming up with the idea of how TLK could be redone and end the curse once and for all.


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